We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Four minutes until I can fart!
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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