i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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