i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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