I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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