You can't motorboat a personality
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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