Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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