i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
