Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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