he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
