normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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