Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Randomize
