Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
that is very illegal...i love you.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
