The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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