You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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