Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
