She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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