oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
