dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i just sent this text using only my big toe
It was confusing and full of hummus
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
