CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
