You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
