what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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