And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize