I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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