so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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