Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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