I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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