i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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