is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
