Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
