i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
