Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I have feelings that need drinking.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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