There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
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