Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
