We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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