Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
