Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn

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(707): View more from California

It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.

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(510): View more from California

You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying

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(540): View more from Virginia

my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.

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(516): View more from New York

Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me

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(901): View more from Tennessee

I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"

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(850): View more from Florida

I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Dick is dick

(908): View more from New Jersey

Look decision making is not my specialty

(908): View more from New Jersey

Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns

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