I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
