And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
NoShamevember. You game?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
