I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
