We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize