She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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