I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
