Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Come on in and take your pants off
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