No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize