Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
