anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
