Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(514): View more from Quebec

i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?

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(519): View more from Ontario

I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.

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(626): View more from California

she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose

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(337): View more from Louisiana

Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.

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(817): View more from Texas

you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for

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(519): View more from Ontario

What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.

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