remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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