Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
