great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I think your dad took our porno
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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