I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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