thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
