It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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