I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Yo dont text me then not text me
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
