he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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