by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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