maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
